Watermark baptism

i was so excited about the watermark baptismal service this month. the weather was great and we got there early enough to score some awesome blanket spots with some of our friends! i love how our church celebrates baptism. we all show up with our blankets, folding chairs, drinks and family and enjoy some outdoor worship music, inspiring testimonies, burgers, snow cones, bouncehouses and friends in a beautiful park. it's awesome!

emmy brought this folding infant chair for lainey and let crawford borrow it for a while. he LOVED it!
just the way crawford likes it, he's surrounded by adoring girls :)

the oldest brown kid, miss abbie! as always, such a cutie!

billy served with the parking team and his presence was missed dearly during the worship part of the service. bailey was having a hard time obeying and crawford was only content in my arms. we also couldn't really see our friends actually getting baptised but i sure did enjoy listening to their testimonies. amazing.

this year was by far the least fun for me but i'm still so glad that we were there. i absolutely love our church and the wonderful, genuine friends we have found there!

Bittersweet

on wednesday, the kids and i went to see boss at his new home with miss kaela. it was a very bittersweet visit. the good news is that boss absolutely loves his new life as kaela's dog. he is showered with attention and has all kinds of special treats and toys. to see how completely loved, appreciated and happy he is makes me feel so much better about our decision. kaela even appreciates his many barks and whines. my heart needed to see how much better he has it now.

although i did not cry like i thought i would, mainly because it was obvious how much boss was cherished, it did feel really strange to be around him and him not be my dog. the most bittersweet moment occurred when i realized that boss no longer looked to me as his owner. i knew it when i asked him to come and he looked to kaela first to see what she thought. he used to do that with me. boss would always look to me when anyone, even billy, gave him a command. i knew then that he had moved on and he was no longer my dog. which was great and all because i was worried that he would want to come home with me when he saw me but also, hello, very sad. like a little pierce to the heart, which is, i'm sure, what he felt several times from the day we brought bailey home from the hospital. so again with the logical side of me verses the emotional side. logically, i'm thrilled that he has accepted his new life and i can rest assured that he will have a much better future with kaela. i have felt so guilty lately, thinking that boss might wonder that i had abandoned him, you know, since he is a dog and nobody can explain anything to him. so that burden was lifted, which was nice. but i'm not going to lie, the emotional side of me was a little hurt to see that he doesn't look at me the same way anymore.

overall, i'm feeling better and better everyday about boss. i still have times where i miss him and that's sad but i try really hard to focus on what we would have to offer him and what kaela has. hands down, kaela wins. and, like i tell bailey, i love boss enough to do what is best for him, even though it hurts me a little.

What life with Bailey is really like

this is bailey, explaining what happened and how she felt when she accidently went underwater in michael's pool the other day. this is a true example of her personality!

Duke Trevor's 1st birthday

the birthday boy with his daddy and mommy aunt erin went all out and had games and everything for the kids. this is bailey playing tape the hook by the fish's mouth.sorry, i didn't get a picture of the amazing cake aunt erin made. it had a little fondant daddy fishing with a little baby boy floating on a raft. it tasted even better than it looked, too!

crawford was pretty happy to be a part of the celebration! i love that he will have a boy cousin so close to his age to grow up with!

$10 well spent

Organized!!!

i was taking a picture of my sweet organizing skillz for bonnie and bailey just had to pop into the picture! now that's a real smile!

extra bonus points awarded to bailey for a perfect sorority girl pose.

Hands, touching hands

bailey, crawford and i enjoyed another visit with sweet caroline and her beautiful mommy bonnie! although the girls played pretty nicely, bailey had a more difficult time this trip and threw several screaming fits. caroline was a doll, except in the mornings when, as bailey would say "she's a little bit grumpy". i totally understand, bailey is a lot to take first thing in the morning, especially at about a distance of 2 centimeters. and, turns out, crawford had an ear infection, which would explain his increased crying, decreased sleep and intense desire for only mommy. we were a shining example of what a joy life can be with two kids!! sorry bonnie, i keep hearing it's a phase and hope it's true!!

despite the many thunderstorms, crawford cries, mud and bailey temper tantrums, we enjoyed spending time with bonnie and caroline. i've made the executive decision that our next trip will have to look different in order for me to be anything other than a mere physical presence (and a loud needy one at that). i think next time crawford will stay at home and the visit will be a little shorter, which should make it more enjoyable for everyone!

we love you bonnie and caroline!!!! we hope we weren't too much of a burden on you this trip!

Finally, my daughter gets to play on the castle at Wilson Park!!

back in the old college days when i lived in the pi phi house, i walked around wilson park frequently since it was so close. i knew i would have absolutely loved playing in the castle when i was a little girl and thought often about how i would one day bring my daughter there. the girls seemed to have a pretty good time playing even thought it was pretty hot and they kept getting in the way of some lady trying to get her glamour shots on while we were there. i didn't get a ton of good pictures because both bailey and caroline declined my many requests to be photographed with true happy faces.

crawford unknowingly obliged while he slept peacefully for about twenty whole minutes in his stroller.

one legit smile :) i think it was the result of a rousing game of peek a boo.
forget the awesome castle, this flower chair was bailey's favorite thing. i have to admit, the backdrop is quite breathtaking.

so the castle wasn't quite as big of a hit as i would have hoped but i know we will be back for sure as soon as possible!

I call this game Fun in a Box

bailey and caroline had the best time playing with this box. it entertained them for about 30 minutes, which was awesome.

We love you Boss

as a family, we have decided that boss should have a new home. as i write this, i have tears streaming down my face. i have cried all week about it because i do love him and this is really hard for me. he has been a member of our family for 5 years now and there are countless memories of him that i hold dear and always will. he has been there bailey's entire life, from when i first found out i was pregnant to when we brought bailey home from the hospital to now. he has survived 2 moves, 2 children and a job change. in fact, if billy still had his old job, which required him to travel several times a week, we would not be doing this. boss always provided me with comfort and a sense of security those many nights billy was gone. he was my protector and friend. boss made me feel safe.

the problem is that, over time, we have slowly evolved into a household that is not suitable for a dog. sure, we have physically taken care of him. he has had plenty of food, water, shelter and a place to take care of business. i have taken him to the vet, had him groomed, bathed him myself and made sure he got his heart worm pills. but that's about the extent of our interaction. there have been plenty of days where i haven't even petted him, much less played with him. where all i've done is tell him to stop licking his paws, stop barking at anyone who dares to enter his line of vision from the study window, to stop whining and stop constantly being underfoot. with our busy life and 2 kids that seem to become increasingly needy as the days go by, i simply haven't had anything left at the end of the day for boss. i cannot be the kind of wife, mother, friend, daughter, woman i want to be and be a good owner to boss at the same time. he deserves much more than i am able to offer him. boss is a wonderful dog, loyal, obedient, gentle and protective. physically, he is the exact dog i have always wanted, small, white and fluffy. this isn't about him being a bad dog, it's about us, specifically me, being in a life stage that makes it close to impossible to be a good dog owner.
because i do love him, i have to do what is best for him, even though it hurts. selfishly, i want to keep him. i do not want him to love another person, to follow her around instead of me. i miss him. for the past 5 years, the first thing i've done when i wake up is let boss outside and it feels so strange not to be doing that. when i go to bed, i instinctively look at the spot where his bed used to be, expecting to see him all curled up into a ball of white fur. as much as i've cared for my children, i have started and ended each day doing something for him. it will take some getting used to.

what does give me peace is knowing that he is in a home where he is loved and appreciated. his new owner, one of our babysitters, takes really good care of him and even lets him sleep in bed with her. not only does he have new dog toys to play with, he already has some new dog friends as well. boss got love here with us, but hardly any positive attention.

never in a million years did i ever think i would be giving my dog away. i've always been a dog person and treated boss more like a child than a dog at first. there is definitely some guilt associated with this. so, please, don't make me feel any worse . and i'm not ready to joke about it yet either. just be prepared, i'll probably cry (or at least be holding it back) if the subject comes up. my logical side tells me this is the absolute right thing, my heart is still having a really hard time letting go.

bailey, we have talked with you a lot about this. you seem to be fine with boss not living with us anymore, but at 3 1/2, it's just hard to really know. you love boss and thank god for him often, but you rarely, if ever, play with him. you became very upset when he got sick all over your playroom while i was in the hospital after crawford was born and you bring that up a lot. you also have a problem with what he does in our backyard and usually end up stepping in it. when asked, you say that you love boss and will miss him, but that he needs to live with a family that can take better care of him. i don't think it will, but i hope this doesn't scar you or anything.

we plan to visit boss one last time to say good-bye. i don't want to confuse him by bringing him over here. bailey and i will pick out a special toy to give to him. this all came about so sudden. kaela kept boss for us while we were in arkansas and i told her that if she wanted him or knew of someone who would to let me know. although i was serious, at the time, i didn't think anything would come of it. but kaela fell in love with boss and changes were made so that she could remain off-campus where dogs are allowed and everything fell into place. i prayed that god would find a new home for boss and he did. when i get sad, i need to remember that.

My favorite!

my computer is too slow, more writing later!

Make mine a double

i took crawford to his 6 month check up today and can you believe it, he is a whopping 16 lbs. 11 oz and is 26 1/4 inches long! who would have thought that he could almost double his weight in 3 months. to go from 8 lbs. 12 oz. to 16 lbs. 11 oz. in 3 months is nothing short of a miracle if you ask me. he looks practically the same size as bailey in this first picture.

it sure is nice to have all of the medical community join me in officially not worrying about crawford's weight. his pediatrician joked that we may have to have the fat boy talk if he keeps this up :)

actually, his pediatrician is a touch concerned at the rapid growth his head has experienced but i'm not stressed. he just had a lot of catching up to do, that's all.
and bless his little heart. crawford has been so crabby and fussy lately. i thought he was feeling uncomfortable due to some new teeth trying to pop through but we found out today that he actually has an ear infection. hopefully he'll feel better soon and return to his happy little self. shots were postponed until next week.

the whole family is still totally in love with you crawford! thank you lord for this happy, healthy, joyful little boy!