The return of the Arboretum and my undying love for our Summer video monitor

ahhhhh....we had such a nice time at the arboretum yesterday morning! it's been a while since it's been cool enough to even think about going there. bailey and i got there just before 10 and had the place almost to ourselves for close to an hour. we sat under our same tree and it was a peaceful place for the boo to enjoy her breakfast before our friends arrived :)



and check out bailey's new bow!! isn't it super cute?! it was a gift from grandma and we ordered it online here. ha ha, did you see that?!?! sundee taught me how to link!!!!


and speaking of links and how i know how to do them now, i will completely change the subject. the love i have for our video monitor has grown stronger. i didn't even think that was possible as it remains my most cherished baby possession (and yes, i'm using it right now)! anyway, while in little rock, i, ummmm, tripped over the cord of the charging video monitor causing it to fall and kinda break a little. it still worked and all, but the on/off button on the top wouldn't work which meant that after a minute of watching my precious baby squirm around on the screen, the picture would turn off to save battery. so, the assertive (ha!) self i am decided to call the company to see what all remaining scraps of purchase evidence i would need in order to begin the sending it back in process. i had heard that they had really good customer service but i had no idea exactly how awesome. long story short (even though i really really want to bore you with all of the details because usually me + customer service = angry tears), in less than 3 minutes there was a brand spanking new monitor being shipped to my house free of charge!!!!!! no digging around for a receipt. no endless days and nights without my amazing video monitor. nope, all they needed was a secret code on the back and, poof, no questions asked, an entire new whole monitor set came in the mail!!! so i will now officially endorse my summer night and day handheld video monitor and highly recommend it to my friends (yes, that's you bonnie and robyn!)!

Let's do lunch

bailey and aubrey decided to share their lunches yesterday at the arboretum! well.....it all started when bailey ate all of aubrey's organic version of teddy grahams (must get some of those). you know, the grass is always greener on the other side and both girls were interested in each other's food. i must say they shared nicely and i hope that is some indication of future sharing adventures :) usually, when bailey "shares" food with me she either a) puts the food all the way to my mouth and then quickly pops it into hers with a smile and a gleam in her eye or b) shares only the food she wasn't interested in eating anyway.

Miss Personality

wow, bailey's little personality has really started to blossom lately! here's what she has to say about it:

• surprise, surprise everyone, i love to talk! i know, i know, it was bound to happen. i mean, hello, have you met my parents? i've just got a lot to say and i've learned that sometimes you have to be really loud to be heard. other times, like when walking around, i prefer to whisper while using a high pitched voice is perfect for talking to my stuffed animal friends and those cat things my mom is allergic to. and don't even get me started on my opinions because i have tons of them!
• you know what......if you want people to smile at you and tell you how pretty and smart you are, all you have to do is wave at them and show off your huge grin. who knew a little hand movement would be so enticing!
• it's no secret that i love to walk (but still prefer to walk while holding onto my mommy or daddy or whoever else i trust's finger, thank you very much), but nowadays, i can stand up without even holding onto anything and take off! oh, get ready to be really impressed, i can do this with a huge book in my hands! or one of my friends! or the yummies my mommy keeps giving me using one of those little plastic squirter thingies!
• my favorite song is "if you're happy and you know it" and let's just say you know it! ooooooh girl, you should see me dance!! i bob my head to the music, bounce my little behind all around, rock my body back and forth and since i can't quite clap yet, i grab both hands together and make my arms go up and down and up and down. oh yeah, i've got moves!
• the teeth, the teeth......will it ever end?!?!? i now have 8 teeth and i am so sick of my mouth hurting! but i do love how they feel on my tongue, so i stick it out about 75% of the time.
• i've also developed a love for singing despite the horrible examples that have surrounded me lately (cough, cough, mommy, cough, cough, uncle adam, cough, cough, grandma, oh, excuse me, i must have been something in my throat). 8 words.......baa, baa, black sheep, have you any woooo-ooollll.
• i can make some really cool faces. there's this one i like a lot where i scrunch up my nose, squint my eyes and make an o with my mouth while blowing a lot of air out of my nose like a bull. it's really beautiful, trust me. stacey likes it the most, so i make it for her all the time.
• i just figured out that sometimes, mommy eats different food than i do and then, all i want is her food. even when i reach out to her and grunt, she doesn't always share it with me! so rude. also, if you don't like something on your plate, do what i do. just spit it out and throw it down on the floor for boss to eat, even when he isn't there.
• last thing. formula is nasty. i don't like it at all. it was okay for about 2 weeks, but now i hate it. real food, i adore, but that stuff.....gross. oh, and also, i eat like a man. as in as much as a man. and as in i shove handfuls of food in my mouth like a starving man.
  

A week ago today

exactly a week ago, bailey and i made the drive to hot springs to see my grandparents. we had originally planned to visit them today, but i decided to bump my arkansas trip up 2 weeks because billy was traveling.

last night, my little grandpa died.


i want to write something deep and meaningful about the wonderful man he was but i can't concentrate on much right now. i am just so so so grateful that bailey and i got to see him one last time. although i felt like i didn't get to spend all that much quality time with grandpa, i do have a feeling of peace knowing that he described last wednesday as "a perfect day". usually quiet and physically weak from countless medical miracles, i could hear the excitement and stregnth in his voice as bailey's tiny hands tickled his feet, waking him from a little snooze in his chair. the hope and joy that the mere presence a baby brings was evident. everyone enjoyed the visit but no one realized it would be our last.

i love and admire you grandpa. thank you for being such a great role model and a constant loving presence in my life. and i know someday i will hear your famous words again, "grandpa loves you".

What cute chubby cheeks are really for

How to make a 5 hour trip with an 11 month old without losing your mind

Stacey's mom has got it go-ing on

oh, how i wish i wouldn't think of that song every single time i think of stacey!!! and by the way, the chorus is true :)

anyway, stacey has been adam's girlfriend throughout college and our family just loves her!!! apparently, bailey does too!


another bonus of this trip has been time spent with stacey. i have really enjoyed hanging out with her and adam! in florida, bailey just wasn't as much fun as she is now that she's a bit older. she wouldn't really let other people play with her and let's face it, who wants to hang around a crying baby? but now, bailey is much more playful and interactive! stacey and adam have had a chance to bond with bailey a bit most nights after her bath. it's so nice to get to share fun, silly, extra cute bailey with others!

stacey is such a wonderful, positive, caring, fun person and a great catch!! we still can't quite figure out how adam manages to keep her around!!
oh, and her family is pretty awesome too :)

Oh, yeah, right...this is BAILEY'S blog

here are a few pictures of the star of this blog, miss bailey boo, from our visit. bailey really is doing well!!!




also, bailey has cut 2 new teeth since we've been here bringing her grand total of teeth up to 7!!! we have tons of pictures of her with that tongue out :p

Uncle Adam

wow.... it's still wierd to write that. my brother is now "uncle adam". strange.

anyway, bailey has really had a fun time with her uncle adam!! since this trip was sort of last minute, the time that bailey and adam have spent together has been a nice surprise. we were originally planning on coming to visit my family 2 weeks later and would have only seen adam for about a day before he returns to college for his masters year.

bailey hasn't quite known what to think of her youngest uncle during the other visits. now, she thinks he is super funny with his silly faces, beautiful singing and smooth dance moves. i really love seeing them interact and have a good time together!

this last picture was at the macaroni grill where we met up with all of the extended family on my mom's side. bailey and i had to leave early so she could get to bed and adam helped us out. his main worry was that the other people in the restaurant would think that we were a couple instead of brother and sister, so he kept saying things like "i hope MOM is having fun" to which i would follow with "what? your mom or mine, honey?". too bad he wouldn't let me hold his hand like i wanted to. why is it still so fun to totally embarrass your brother?

And all this time, I thought Bailey got her flare for the dramatics from her daddy

ok.....so about my last post.......sorry i was overreacting a bit and i totally knew it at the time, but really know it now. i am fine. actually, more than fine, i'm pretty great. we are all having a wonderful time and bailey really has been her fun, sweet, funny, adorable self a vast majority of our visit. i was just losing it and needed to vent to someone, somewhere, somehow and nobody was around to talk to, thus the way long blog entry.
seriously, i am having a nice visit and i'll post pictures soon. you know me, i've been super super busy with various projects and visits. just didn't want people to worry any more than they already have!!
i've also debated about deleting the whole entry, but need to think about it some more. time for a nap :) i've driven over 600 miles since yesterday!!

Oh my gosh, make it STOP!!!

ok, i might be losing it RIGHT NOW
bailey and i (and bo$$, stop forgetting about the dog, stop forgetting about the dog) are visiting my parents for 2 weeks. as in daring to stay in a house that is not our own. as in sleeping in a room in a crib that is not our regular one (it's actually mine, complete with a few chew marks) enter the sleep issues. now, the sleeping at night hasn't be too tarabull yet (famous last words, i know, i know) but the nap today???? AWFUL HORRIBLE HORRENDOUS
the lady who cleans my mom's house is russian and a bit interesting. my mom calls her brun hilda and i can never remember her real name and am worried i'll offend her someday when i call her miss hilda and she'll be all "vat? vat did you call me?". during our last visit, she described bo$$'s whining and carrying on as "your dog, he make noise like angry man" which is a unique way of looking at bo$$'s behavior. bo$$ has a lovely high pitched whine and is a 12 lb. white furry ball of disney-like adorableness, which doesn't quite scream angry man to me, but whatever. so, anyway, she's cleaning and it's getting time to put bailey down for her morning nap. oh, and earlier, bo$$ was whining (what? how strange) because he was (gasp) outside for more than 2 minutes and i couldn't let him in because he had stepped in his own poop (good going bo$$) and i wasn't adequately prepared to clean that up instantly, thus, the poor creature had to endure 5 additional minutes in the awfulness we know as the backyard. as i'm trying to feed bailey, cut up more food for her, feed myself and gather the materials needed to hose off a challenged, complaining dog she mentions how she hates to hear animals and babies cry. well, guess what, me too, but it's my life, no escaping it. and the dog, have you ever met my dog? he whines CONSTANTLY, even in his sleep sometimes. very soothing, actually. okay, back to my story. so, it's time to put bailey down for her nap while brun hilda is upstairs in a room by the one bailey is sleeping in. and sure enough, bailey is overtired and mad. she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, so i put her down and the screaming began. this is typical, bailey will usually calm down on her own and when i go in there, my mere presence just makes it worse. now, brun hilda is a sweet lady (in her own way) and asked if she could hold her and was obviously worried about the well being of my unhappy child and i didn't want to be rude or anything, so i let her. and you know what, bailey actually did stop crying as she was comforted by a strange (as in new) lady singing to her in russian while swinging her in her arms. i did think it was pretty sweet. but then, the old bailey emerged. the one who is fast asleep in you arms but whose eyes snap open the second you make the slightest move to put her in her crib and we were stuck. brun hilda asked if bailey could sleep with me in my bed because she thought bailey was scared to be alone in her dark room which is obviously why she was screaming you horrible, horrible mother, you (okay, not that last part, but i could tell that's what she was thinking). i explained that she can't do that because she might fall out of the bed and i didn't even go into the rest because i was afraid it would get lost in translation anyway. so, in i go and it just makes bailey furious. she screams, throws her head back and pushes me away with her arms, which i think is russian for "i love you ever so much mommy." the more i try to comfort her and love her, the madder and louder she gets. already frustrated, i leave the room. she screamed, i mean, screamed almost solid for the next 45 minutes or so. i did go back in there once and she sort of calmed down, but not enough to give into the sleep, thus the endless screaming continued. can you guess how i felt? i was panicky, worried that this woman would think that i'm just ignoring my child while i go and play on my computer because a baby is just a another thing to check off my list anyway, right? i felt like i had something to prove. like i wanted to explain bailey's whole life to this woman so she wouldn't think i was a bad mother. it was that same feeling you get on the plane when your baby won't stop crying and you are doing all you can but nothing is working. then you see people whispering and making bad faces and you know it has to be about you and how you must not know what you are doing if you can't control this one tiny little mad person. if only you were better prepared, had not fed her those last three cheerios, brought 2 back-up pacis instead of 1, read her the other book, had done something, anything, different, then this wouldn't be happening. basically, everything is somehow your fault. i felt like a failure. like a bad mother. i was mad at myself for going against my gut and allowing bailey's nap routine, as awful and full of crying as it may be sometimes, to be interrupted. i was mad at myself for prolonging the falling asleep part of the nap and confusing my child. and right now, as things have been calm for the past 15 minutes or so, i'm mad at myself for letting this all bother me. i don't have to prove anything to anyone. but, i want to. i want people to understand (this entry is interrupted because she is already awake, please please go back to sleep, ahhhhh, the vacuum!! please sleep through the vacuum, please sleep through the vacuum) how hard i work for bailey. and what is stupid right now is that i know the people who i care about most in my life completely get this, appreciate it and tell me so i feel affirmed. oh wow, how awesome it is to be a woman and deal with these complex things called feelings. although i'm still a bit upset right now, i'm basically over it. i just don't want to go downstairs for fear that brun hilda will say something that i will think is a jab at my role as a mother and i will be really mean to her in my head as i cry and try not to make her feel bad. see how much i'm over it?
really, i'm fine. probably a little crabby and missing my husband. i hope you enjoyed this peek into my brain this morning! and no need to comment on how you think i'm doing at motherhood. this wasn't intended to fish for complements or anything. ok, i'll stop now. longest post ever!!

*despite this entry, we are having a great time on our visit!!!!!
**in case you were worried, she is currently asleep. also, i believe the sounds of everyone except her mother getting ready this morning woke her up early. and she went to bed a lot later than normal last night. so, i started this day off concerned about her sleep. ok, enough.

Since I haven't had time to blog because I sort of flooded our bathroom and a third of our bedroom and bailey is screaming, enjoy these pictures!