Happy 1st Birthday Crawford!!!

morning of 11/4/2008

morning of 11/4/2009
crawford, my sweet sweet baby boy! you are a year old today. exactly a year ago was one of the happiest days of my life. the immediate love i felt for you remains indescribable and the joy surrounding your entrance into the world and our family will forever be etched in my memory.

your surprisingly abundant dark hair and tiny little newborn baby body are things of the past. seriously, i cannot believe how much you have changed. you started out resembling me but now you are billy's mini-me for sure. there is a picture of your daddy as a 20 month old in our living room and several people, his immediate family included, initially thought it was you. simply amazing. the noodle legs, peachy buns and lovely soft dark hair are long gone. you are now a blonde haired little chunky monkey with an irresistible smile that lights up your whole face. you are so squeezable with thick, roly-poly thighs and a big round belly. crawford, you are mostly such a happy guy with just the best little personality. you laugh and smile easily and often. you love when we "chase" you or play peek-a-boo. you are laid back enough to endure long times spent in shopping carts and strollers and content enough to play by yourself for what i consider to be a long time. sleep, that has never been a battle for you like it is for bailey. it's incredibly nice how flexible you can be with your naps and how easily i can transport you to your crib when you fall asleep in the car. you prefer to go to sleep on your own and often push your daddy or i away when we try to rock you at night. after experiencing things with your beautiful big sister, i recognize this as a gift. although you don't really say a lot of actual words, my son, you talk a lot. and you wouldn't be a part of this family if you weren't loud. your favorite toy of all time is any kind of phone, real or just a toy. actually anything that has buttons will do. but you pretend to talk on a phone all the time. there doesn't even have to be anything at all in that sweet little dimpled hand of yours and there it is, up by your ear as you gab and gab away.

i remember how i felt holding you the very first time. i thought it wasn't possible for me to love you any more. but i was very wrong. you used to feel incredibly light and airy in my arms. now, you are so solid and it just feels right when i hold you. all day long, there you are, on my hip, with your hand either grabbing onto my shirt or my hair. thank you for helping me to really understand why some women cut their hair short when they become a mom.

once again, god has used the children he has given us to reveal something about himself to me. crawford, looking back, i honestly think we could have lost you. wow, just typing that out brought tears to my eyes. your frail little body made everyone so worried. you were so weak and dehydrated and, as your mommy and sole source of food at the time, i am so sorry. i know that my motherly instinct that something still wasn't right, despite the assurance the doctor and the scales tried to give me, played a huge earthly role in recognizing the problem before things really took a turn for the worse and i am grateful for that gift. as scared as i was for you, i distinctly remember my unusual calmness, relying on the thought that the god who loves you and made incredible you is 100% in control and that he would not give me more than i could handle. i clung to this, prayed often and thanked god as i watched you transform into a thick, healthy, happy baby boy. in my mind, you are a miracle for so many reasons.

crawford, i love you much more than i could even begin to describe. you have brought an incredible amount of joy into our family and i cannot wait to see what another year brings! thank you god for our son and yours!!

And he walks!!!!

crawford just started taking some steps by himself!!! on his birthday (post coming soon) he walked about 10 consecutive steps!!! how exciting is it that the whole family was there to watch crawford and cheer him on?! he really liked when we would cheer "good job, good job!" and that motivated him to attempt clapping as well. gosh, i love this boy!!!!! whoooooo!!!

Every other Monday

like i mentioned earlier, we have been having community group playdates every other monday. and i LOVE so much about it!! sure, it's sometimes hectic and i'm not a fan of hectic but it's always refreshing. i love spending time with these amazing women (courtney, dayna, chrissy and laura) and watching all of our kids play so well together. which i know will not always be the case but it is beautiful right now.

we pretty much let the big kids play in the other room while we watch over the little ones and chat. bailey makes sure none of the boys misbehaves and we trust her to tell us if they do. it's her spiritual gift. she's really good at it. oh, and by the way, out of ten kids, there are only three girls. bailey (4), lillie (getting close to 2) and georgia (1). bailey couldn't be more pleased, she loved playing with boys, especially if it involves telling them what to do :) sweet little zack is the youngest of the bunch! he was born about 3 months ago and is one of the prettiest babies i have seen.

spencer, crawford and christopher "playing" together. i know this will look totally different in a year.

sweet little georgia was giving me the best smiles before i pulled out my camera. i think i made her a little unsure.

spencer is just about the happiest baby i've ever met. he even makes crawford look grumpy. last year, chrissy and laura were in my small group at bible study. when the study started, we were all pregnant, then one by one, our cuties were born. i've really enjoyed getting to know these awesome friends and look forward to developing our relationships even more. it's amazing how much i trust them already. and how much fun we all have together!

the big kids at lunch. thanks wesley, for being the only one to look at me.

i realize that these are not the best pictures. but this is exactly how our mondays are. i have no idea why we just started doing this, it has been so nice!

Why didn't I think of this before?!?

after halloween last year, bailey repeatedly told me, months after the dreaded holiday, that she would not be trick or treating until she was five. or six. i had come to terms with this and opted not to even buy her a costume this year. my thinking was that if she decided at the last minute to be brave and risk seeing someone wearing a dreaded mask in an effort to collect candy, then she could throw on one of her many dress-up dresses, accessorize with several pieces of jewelry and a crown and boom, instant princess costume. poor crawford. just about two weeks before halloween, i realized that i had not even thought about getting that cute guy a costume. lucky for me, my awesome friend emmy let us borrow this adorable kangaroo costume! god has sure blessed our whole family with some absolutely wonderful friends! which, although kinda hot for halloween in texas, he didn't mind wearing. as long as we didn't dare put on the attached super cute hoodie with ears. he screamed every time, so enjoy, this is one of many agitated costume moments.
as much as i would have loved to see this happy face with the ears on, i realized it wasn't going to happen and let it go. how very un-tara-like of me but in the spirit of capturing the real experience, i decided that i would be fighting a losing battle to make that boy appear happy with the hoodie on. so i moved on.

we stopped at our neighbors house first incredibly early. at about 5:00 p.m. ellen was kind enough to let us start the trick or treating process. extra bonus was getting a picture of bailey and crawford with reid. bailey sure does like playing with that boy.
crawford was a ball of happiness!!! seriously love that little guys laid back joyful personality.

lindsey and i had talked earlier in the week about our proposed halloween plans. i thought a smaller group might be best but was so thankful that it accidentally turned into a bigger group. i mean, really, why didn't i think of that before? to trick or treat with a big group of friends made it a zillion times for fun and less scary that trying to go at it alone. so we all met up at the harris house for pizza before heading out to brave the night.
of course, bailey was pumped about seeing her friends, but i don't know if i have ever seen crawford so happy and excited!!! he just smiled, giggled and babbled excitedly practically nonstop and he cruised back and forth between billy and me. talk about heart melting!!

when we arrived, it was a little toasty inside, so we took crawford's puffy kangaroo shirt off. instantly he was transformed into a character from narnia, being half beefy man on top and kangaroo on the bottom.little miss lainey lou as little bo peep. she's a favorite for sure at our house :)
all of the kids right before we headed out. not one of my group pictures turned out all that great but that's just not a realistic expectation. from left to right: crawford, caleb, bailey, jack, penelope, henrietta, abbie, paul, kennedy and millicent. wesley and lainey lou stayed for pizza but then left to do their annual trick or treating with their neighbors. luke somehow didn't make it in the picture. so, all together, there were eleven kids.

and they all had SO MUCH FUN!!!! they eagerly ran to each house and crowded the door, yelling "trick or treat" before the door even opened. it was a mad rush to the door every time and us parents took turns making sure everyone backed up, said thank you and didn't fall. the whole thing was adorable and i loved just walking around with friends enjoying this experience with our kids.

one of the most beautiful things about the night was how much more confident bailey felt surrounded by her friends. she was too busy chatting it up with caleb to even notice most of the scary (and inappropriate in my opinion) decorations. if she got scared of a house, she would hang back with me until she saw her friends run back with candy. then she would run up and get some herself. for us, this was a huge blessing.

crawford stayed in the stroller a majority of the time. about an hour into our fun, billy decided to go ahead and take him home, which was a smart move. bailey and i stayed the course and trick or treated with our fun group for a solid hour and a half, well into the dark. i kept telling her how proud i was of her and thanking lindsey for hosting and organizing everything. really, i could not have asked for more!! it was such an overwhelmingly positive difference experience than we had last year. we are definitely making this a tradition and are even planning on adding our community group as well.

on our way home, i was again telling bailey how proud of her i was. we passed a house with all of their lights on as we walked home and i confidently suggested that we trick or treat at one last house. i guess i wanted to prove to both bailey and i that we could do it on our own.

but then some fool answered the door wearing a really scary, almost freddy kruger looking mask. immediately, i turned bailey around to face my stomach as i explained that she was extra scared of anyone with a scary mask on. i even asked the man to take it off please because she was so afraid. and he DIDN'T!!! in shock, i just grabbed a piece of candy for her, said thank you and again, she is just really scared of masks and got out of there as quickly as i could. i felt so bad for my beautiful little girl and shocked that a grown man would think that it was appropriate to come to the door dressed like that when the only two people out there were a little 4 year old girl in a pink princess dress and her mommy. i wish i would have said more and know that it wouldn't have been offensive to do so. oh well, bailey recovered and we were all ok. mental note, do NOT go there again next year and be think through ahead of time what to do in case something like that happens again.

overall, we all had such a wonderful time. i was so surprised with how well the entire evening turned out, masked man and all. i think we are all actually looking forward to next halloween when crawford can join in the fun a lot more!

And this is why we take professional family pictures at least once every 3 years

we finally took professional family pictures at the arboretum a couple of weeks ago. i need to plan to do this more frequently than every 3 years because this is what i usually get. not that these are bad or anything, they just aren't quite right. in their defense, bailey and crawford had already endured over an hours worth of picture taking.

to our surprise, most of dallas just so happened to be at the arboretum as well. apparently, it was the first nice sunny monday we have had in weeks and everyone had the same idea. bailey enjoyed all of the fall pumpkin decorations and the little barnyard animals they had.

i felt bad that crawford spent most of this time in the stroller and finally let him free! he loved looking at the pumpkins floating in the water and was telling me all about it. and then i let crawford crawl in the muddy grass. i know, i surprised my very own self. i'm so ready for this kid to walk so we can enjoy places like this more often!!

as an extra fun bonus, we ran into oliver, truett, elliott and their sweet mommy chrys and owen, noah and their sweet mommy rachel. they got way better pictures than i did with their fancy cameras :)

chrys and i just about melted to the ground watching our oldest children walk hand in hand throughout the arboretum. way too cute for words!!! although they haven't gotten to play together as much as i would have liked, these two have known each other almost from day 1.
it turned out to be such a fun trip to the arboretum. i will always have fond memories of that place, meeting up with friends and enjoying god's beauty together.

A slight interruption

dear tara of august 2011,


i don't know the exact date you should read this, but i would imagine the contents would apply any day in august 2011, but especially on that first glorious day of kindergarten. can i just start by saying that i am jealous of you right now? you with your make-up on, clean hair and more in shape body with pants that include buttons and zippers rather than elastic. it may be hard to believe, but right now, i wish i was you. i'm sure you feel the same way about me.

i know today has been a hard day for you. your baby girl has gone off to kindergarten. she is officially a big kid. you will no longer get to spend most of every day with her and the simple idea of that probably causes a giant lump in your throat. you have probably already been through a few kleenexes today and maybe even a couple in anticipation of this day.

but there is something that i, tara of october 2009, want to remind you. this is a good thing. a part of you has been waiting for this day to come for quite some time. don't let that sweet face below fool you. you remember what it was really like.

i apologize, i feel somewhat distracted. that would be because 4 year old bailey is 30 minutes into a screaming fit. all because she chose to play with a game instead of putting her toys away and her shoes on like i asked her to. thus, i did not allow her to bring her pink leapster with us on what was supposed to be our trip to target to get halloween candy. and that is when the fun began. bailey is currently screaming "MOMMY! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!" over and over again from the garage while beating the door with either her hands or a plastic tub, i don't know, i don't want to know. she is there because every time i send her to her room these days she beats the door with some hard object and/or destroys her room. honestly, i'm afraid the door is going to break soon or that i will be taking her to the er because the dresser fell on top of her while she was trying to climb up it so that her angry arm could swipe all of the picture frames off.

tara, mother of a brand new kindergartener, remember this. remember these moments, all of them. remember these days. the hour and a half screaming fits. the horrible attitude. the stubborn will. the fits over the everyday things of life like brushing her teeth, getting dressed, picking up her things, etc. remember how the fits can come out of nowhere and be about the tiniest of things. remember that staying at home was not all fun and games and homemade cookies. remember how difficult it is for me to go to kroger or target. remember how you never felt like you had enough time to do anything the way you would like to. remember when a simple cold meant a weeks worth of isolation from friends and all fun activities. remember how helpless you felt listening to both of your darling children scream their heads off at 11:00 a.m. while you were still wearing your pajamas, haven't even had time to think about brushing your teeth and the house was a wreck. life would be so much more manageable if god allowed mothers to sprout another arm every time they gave birth. this has been hard. it will continue to be hard. but remember the good and the bad. i know you will be reminiscing about all of the awesome, beautiful, hallmark moments you had while staying at home watching that gift of a child grow up. believe me, i know there are plenty of them. just remember that they weren't all gloriously sweet times. i have had what feels like more than my share lately of the rough learning experiences and difficult "phases."

it's ok to say good-bye to those days. sure, this involves change (hopefully, you will be better at that than i am) but remember, it's a GOOD change. i would gladly drop my beautiful daughter off at kindergarten today if someone would have let me. you can do this. now drop off crawford somewhere and go get a pedicure with your friends!!


love,

exhausted tara

Cat puhkim

for the first time ever, i had someone really actually help me carve the pumpkin. bailey and i were a fabulous team! i cut the pumpkin, did the scooping and the carving while she meticulously separated the pumpkin seeds from the pumpkin goo. we had such a sweet time just talking together and enjoying each other's company :)

bailey, even with all of your dramatic, intense fits and teenage worthy attitude, i sure do love you and enjoy a lot of the time i get to spend with you!! thanks for helping me out and for allowing me to hang out with the sweet, caring, thoughtful, funny little you instead of that other one! i honestly had a fun time carving this beautiful cat pumpkin with you!

Wylie's birthday party

we celebrated wylie's 7th birthday last week over at granna and poppy's house. the kids had a blast dancing all around with each other to granna's songs. i rarely get to witness this and wow, it sure is entertaining!!! i didn't even get any good pictures of the birthday girl. but, as you can see, they were all dancing around so hard that most of the shots looked all blurry.

i had no idea bailey had so many moves :) dancing with her cousins has really developed her dancing skills.

that being said, she mostly ran around in circles shaking her head or jumped around while spinning. everson and wylie were hilarious to watch and each had distinct, amusing dancing styles!!!

duke trevor trying to play with the big kids!crawford was just happy to be standing! he got hot, so i took his shirt off.

and this is what crawford would do if i dared to walk away from him. he was being a real momma's boy that night and experiencing some hard core separation anxiety. i couldn't even walk one foot away from him before he would scream and scream, turn tomato red and produce real tears. this made for a relaxing, enjoyable dinner. at least i know that he loves me, though, right?!

Crawford's first experience at the Galleria!

i have many memories of bailey having fun in the play area of the galleria. it was fun to watch crawford explore it for the first time :)

Playdate with Duke Trevor

when i found out that my second child was going to be a boy, i was beyond excited for so many reasons. one of them being that my wonderful sister in law erin had a new baby boy. i love the fact that crawford and duke trevor will grow up together :) they are only about 6 months apart.they started out being really sweet together! i was super impressed. this was the first time i felt like they could really interact with each other.

you can see that crawford just didn't quite know what to think about duke trevor's hug at this point.....

and this was taken right before a full on tackle that was totally given out of love from duke trevor but crawford was definitely not feeling it. this is all of the pictures i got from these two because we had to keep a close eye on them. at this point, the 6 month age difference is quite apparent, but it will fade with time and i'm sure they will had the best time playing and wrestling around with each other.

my sweet bailey girl hugging on duke trevor :) she's such a natural with younger kids and babies. i just love that about her!